My very first day as a full-time youth pastor was taking students to youth camp. I was excited to spend the week building relationships with them. However, on the first official day of camp, one of our young ladies began experiencing intense pain in her abdomen. She was rushed to the hospital an hour away because her kidneys were failing. Instead of being fully engaged at camp, I found myself splitting time between my students and traveling back and forth to the hospital doing my best to minister to a young lady in crisis, twelve hours away from her family.

I was recently enjoying a conversation with a 20-year-old young man. We talked about how God was giving him wisdom and insight that I might not have because I’d grown up in a different world than him - No smartphones or social media, etc. Then he made a comment that shook me up a bit, “It’s like you’re passing the baton.” I thought, “huh?! Does that mean I’m done?” What if I don’t think my time is up and I don’t want to “pass the baton” yet?

I remember meeting Mitchell, a middle school student with green hair, bright pink skinny jeans, and a skateboard tucked under his arm when he started coming to my youth group. I was glad he came, but I didn’t always know how to connect with him. Part of my problem was he came from an environment and had life experiences that were difficult and very different than mine. I wanted him to “win” in life - to experience the good news of Jesus. Unfortunately, I only had him for a few hours a week while the world had the rest. How could I make the most of the hours I did have with him?

“But I'm right! I know I’m right!” That’s how I felt inside one Wednesday night after leaving my senior guy's small group. I had been mentoring them for years, but they were simply out of control all evening. I was upset, and on my way out I said some things to them out of my frustration. One of my guys messaged me later that night telling me he was done. Done with church. Done with me. Done with Jesus. All because of how I responded. That destroyed me. Years of discipleship were potentially in jeopardy because of my response in that moment. Why couldn’t he see I was right? But was I really? In order to redeem the relationship, I had to consider a different answer.

Wisdom is a treasure like a diamond that sparkles brilliantly. The beautiful sparkle comes from a jeweler’s skillful cutting of many faces. It’s the same with wisdom. One easily overlooked “face” that can help wisdom “sparkle” is the question “How do I want to be?”

“Terminated.” I couldn’t believe those words came out of my boss’s mouth. With such a small, yet heavy word, I was crushed! It was something out of my control, something I never experienced, something I could have never imagined. Soon after the spiral began and I was tempted to make destructive decisions. Have you been there? I’m sure we all have, and our young people are not exempt from disappointments either. What can we do in moments when those closest to us are crushed by disappointment?

Do you remember the first time your world was rocked by someone’s sin being exposed? A deception uncovered, a leader caught in the act, an addiction revealed, faith discarded? What counsel would have helped you to get through that difficult time?

How can I have conversations with students about explosive topics?

There is no shortage of hot-topic issues today that are important to youth. These issues can cause significant tension in relationships, like ticking time bombs. They can blow up in your face and cause permanent damage to your relationships with youth. What can you do to start defusing the bombs?