They're Looking at it Wrong. What Now?
My student isn’t looking at things the right way. What now?
“But I'm right! I know I’m right!” That’s how I felt inside one Wednesday night after leaving my senior guy's small group. I had been mentoring them for years, but they were simply out of control all evening. I was upset, and on my way out I said some things to them out of my frustration. One of my guys messaged me later that night telling me he was done. Done with church. Done with me. Done with Jesus. All because of how I responded. That destroyed me. Years of discipleship were potentially in jeopardy because of my response in that moment. Why couldn’t he see I was right? But was I really? In order to redeem the relationship, I had to consider a different answer.
Consider YOU might be wrong
Are you sure you’re right? It can be easy to think so. In John 9:1, Jesus’ disciples thought they recognized a sin problem and the two possible causes. Then they asked Jesus and found they were wrong on both counts. Considering you might be wrong means being willing to look at things through a different set of lenses. It means being willing to ask the other person to help you see things the way they see them.
IT MAY BE TOUGH
Because of pride - "But I'm not wrong."
Because of entitlement - "It doesn't matter if I'm wrong, I'm the adult."
Because of fear - "What if I'm wrong and my credibility is called into question?"
BUT IT IS WORTH IT
Humility cultivates relationships where pride may kill them.
Authenticity invites authenticity.
A student who feels validated and respected is more likely to feel safe and be open and honest.
An open mind can open opportunities to discover truth together with your student.
It's worth it because you will be leading your students to own their own faith.
ONE FINAL THOUGHT
The story I shared is true, and afterward I actually put these ideas into practice.
The following night I met with my guys. I considered, then acknowledged I was wrong. Thankfully God redeemed those relationships. The young man who said he was "done" has grown so much in his faith since then. It was tough but so worth it!
What are your thoughts?
We want you to win,
The YouthHOPE Team